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The Comedy Thesaurus by Judy Brown
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The Comedy Thesaurus by Judy Brown
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Maps
"At home I have a map of the United States, actual size. I spent all summer folding it." - Steven Wright
Turtles
"Has any turtle ever outlived a shaker of turtle food?" - JerrySeinfeld
Sex
"I think sex is beautiful between the right man and the right woman, but it's difficult to get between the right man and woman." - Woody Allen
Physique
"I'm in very bad shape. I hurt myself playing scrabble." - Rodney Dangerfield
Driving
"When my husband and I are in the car, I usually let him drive.Because when I drive, he has a tendency to bite the dashboard" - Rita Rudner
Family
"My father wore the pants in the family - at least after the court order." - Vernon Chapman
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